He's my Czech mate. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place.. So for all the checss players out there here are some funny chess jokes and puns. 45 Extra Smart Jokes! Ten years ago, comedian Matt Kirshen’s one-liner was voted the fifth-best at the Edinburgh Fringe. Castling To castle, move the king two spaces towards the castle like this: Clever one-liners to have on-hand Chess One Liners. Short jokes that are either funny one liners, funny puns, knock knock jokes or funny pick up lines as well as some funny insults and funny comebacks, one liners for kids and funny quotes. These one liners will have you making all the right moves. I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says. I have a friend in Prague I like to play chess with. ‘I was playing chess with my friend and he said “Let’s make this interesting”. Have fun playing with friends or challenging the computer! Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. That might spoil it and knock the pieces over. My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. Why is chess just like real life? Jokes and one liners. 2 Do not argue with an idiot. 2 Do not argue with an idiot. I wrote ten puns to improve my chances of winning, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did. 100 Pawwrfect Cat Puns! She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension. Top 100 funniest one-liners. Relax, we've got your back. Subscribers. Chess is one of the greatest board games. General forum - Puns and One-liners - page 4. hey you! The best Chess Puns online, including check puns, checkmate puns, chess knight puns, chess queen puns, chess king puns, chess game puns, chess master puns, rook puns, check and mate puns and pawn puns. Oneline. These funny chess jokes will keep you from being board! (My dad told me this one, not sure if it’s OG but hey it’s worth a shot) A chess master wanted to go back to playing casual matches, he also invited his old friend who was from Australia to play at a local restaurant. One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. 70 Delicious Chocolate Puns! 429. FOLLOW US. Botvinnik sees Korchnoi go into heaven and thinks to himself, “Good, grandmaster chess players get to enter the heaven… ” and he can’t wait to announce to St. Peter that he is one of the greatest chess players who should get the best mansions. It would be a … ... GameKnot: play chess online, free online chess games database, chess teams, monthly chess tournaments, Internet chess league, chess clubs, online chess puzzles and more. 1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. Matt Kirshen (1980 – ) British comedian You can even use these one liners for Tinder or any other dating app. They think it’s a good thing. My microwave could beat Magnus Carlsen.’. Also check out our other funny jokes. A police officer arrested me for playing chess in the middle of the road yesterday, I asked him; "Is it cause I'm black?" Chess Jokes. A local farmer tried hard to make some cheese, but didn't quite make it. Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. Expert players memorise all the openings and can think several moves ahead. Puns and one liners on the theme of Cheese Jokes.. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? Page 83. Botvinnik died and went to heaven. Really hard to find thirty two of them willing to take part, though. So enjoy this collection of 80 funny one liners! @divegeester said I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. ‘I was playing chess with my friend and he said “Let’s make this interesting”. by Ramon March 22, 2010. The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. Oscar Wilde (1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet Highlights possible moves for each piece. 30 Funny Poems! by Ramon March 22, 2010. share. Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? A chess champion and an Australian man were playing a game of chess at a fancy restaurant. Cheers!!! Play chess online for free on Chess.com with over 50 million members from around the world. General forum - Puns and One-liners - page 3. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 68 Funny Christian Pick Up Lines! erik Jul 29, 2007 #11 oh, that was funny :) El_Piton Aug 1, 2007 #12 Q: How does an Australian announce he is attacking your king? All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. The 20 best one-liners ever. Posted by 1 day ago. I had to put my foot down. o O o. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. by Stephen. out there on yer own sitting naked by the phone would you touch me? I dreamt of wizards, ... GameKnot: play chess online, chess clubs, monthly chess tournaments, Internet chess league, chess teams, online chess puzzles, free online chess games database and more. The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is game jokes. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these fish jump out and I take around to see the sights only to return them at the end of the day; remember that the Chess Board is like an ocean; full of fish". Play against the computer or a friend. Created Jun 27, 2009. AJokeADay pays cash prizes to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each week! Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. 100 Knock Knock Jokes! Home Puns Art Work Sayings Sport Hobby Articles Politics Search Shop Chess Puns. One Liners. 42 Funny One Liner Jokes. One day he came aross an Arab sitting in the middle of the road with a chess board. Chess is one of the few board games that does not require a dice. Following is our collection of funniest Chess jokes.There are some chess dota jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Why do geeky guys like curvy women? So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. It's always a good time for hilarious one liners and funny short jokes. Never play chess with a British person. If you like the our chess pick up lines collections take a look at below one liners [Top 80] Ice Breaker Pick Up Lines [Top 400] Sarcastic Pick Up Lines For Those Who Understand Sarcasm! A chess player joined the Mormon Church. ... 101 Jokes and One Liners for Kids! Washington DC chess joke. Please add any chess jokes you may have, and, most importantly... have a good time!!!! I like to play chess with old men in the park, although it's hard to find 32 of them. Chess Jokes and Puns. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. You’d play me chess, about which I don’t even know how to deal. Movie Buffs and Famous One-Liners Locatie: Southern California Opgericht: 1 feb. 2015 save. o O o. General forum - Puns and One-liners - page 4. hey you! One day he wanted to take part in a chess tournament held on a Sunday. Ten years ago, comedian Matt Kirshen’s one-liner was voted the fifth-best at the Edinburgh Fringe. Absolutely hilarious one liners! Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Chess punning, films, songs and humor for the pun of it. I was playing chess with my friend and he said ‘Let’s make this more interesting’ … so we stopped playing chess. How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? If you think people who apologize too much are annoying, I'm sorry. The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! That might spoil it and knock the pieces over. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… Saw an owl having a game of chess with a bird with a big beak. msn back to msn home news. 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! They always beat me. Hi Thought I should start off with something light hearted, so here goes. The Chess player says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish, they are my pets's pawn. on March 25, 2013. 429. I once entered a pun writing contest. Breasts don’t have eyes. 122k. My joke: The Merchant and the Arab. He fell at the final curdle. See more ideas about chess, jokes, chess quotes. 1. 12. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); (1834 - 1884) - American born British dramatist & actor, (1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian, (1965 – ) British chess grandmaster & chess writer. Really hard to find thirty two of them willing to take part, though. What game do horses play at home? 11. The Chess player says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish, they are my pets's pawn. 120 of the best jokes and funniest one-liners ever from the Edinburgh Fringe “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister” These jokes had audiences in stitches in Edinburgh My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. out there on yer own sitting naked by the phone would you touch me? So we stopped playing chess.’ Not bad, as jabs go, and I’ve heard a few — as has any lifelong chess … A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Really hard to find thirty two of them willing to take part, though. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. The best Chess Puns online, including check puns, checkmate puns, chess knight puns, chess queen puns, chess king puns, chess game puns, chess master puns, ... 80 Short Jokes and One Liners! We hope you enjoy our website and find something to make you and the children in your life smile. I thought “toucan play that game.” Never tell a golfer you’re feeling below par. Chess. Easy mode is a little bit hard, and hard is very hard indeed, with an ELO above 2500. So read this page until the end, memorize a few one liners, and maybe you’ll get a date. See TOP 10 witty one-liners. These funny chess jokes will keep you from ... one-liners, knock-knock jokes, puns, videos, and things we think are worth sharing with other parents. By the way, this page has a section with flirty one liners specifically for Tinder. We played strip chess. 1 comment. ... "I like to play chess with bald men in the park, ... "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. Is it coincidence that you play chess with four horSêmên. Playing Chess in One Liner Jokes. Chess Jokes. Have fun! ... 35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Chess Jokes. Because they're chess nuts. It would be a shame after all the effort they go to arrange them. Movie Buffs and Famous One-Liners Daily Matches Live Matches Daily Match Top Players Live Match Top ... Live Tournaments Top Gifters Vote Chess Members … Chess is one of the few board games that does not require a dice. 2. All Rights Reserved, Easy to Learn Ambitious System for White against Hippo, Modern & Pirc – GM Roman Dzindzichashvili, Typical Sacrifices in The Middlegame: The Double Bishop Sacrifice. The Computer Player is GarboChess and is very skilled. Chess Jokes : Puns And One Liners. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. If you forget the rules of chess, don't worry – you're allowed to check. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these fish jump out and I take around to see the sights only to return them at the end of the day; remember that the Chess Board is like an ocean; full of fish". As Victor Skakapopulis in “What’ s New Pussycat?”, A friend of mine recently joked that his mobile phone will beat Magnus Carlsen; I said, ‘What are you talking about? Chess Jokes. Top 100 funniest one-liners. Clean Chess Jokes Jokes for Kids. I like to play chess with bald men in the park, although it's hard to find 32 of them. Their queen never dies. Q: What’s common between the civil service at Washington DC and a game of chess? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! Related Communities. I was playing chess with my friend and he said ‘Let’s make this more interesting’ … so we stopped playing chess. “The heavenly father does not allow this… to play games on Sundays.”, one of the church members said to him. ... one line jokes in a well-moderated, friendly community! Funny One-Liners. A Spanish merchant traveling a lonely road did business from town to town. 1. St. Peter is there as always letting people in or directing them to the gates of hell. 1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. The chess player left the Mormon Church the following days and never returned. The king can only take a step at a time and the queen can do as she pleases. These clever one liners on life are perfect for any occasion. Jokes that are either one liners, puns, knock knock jokes or funny pick up lines as well as some funny insults and comebacks. ... 35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 200. Sep 11, 2014 - Explore Premium Chess's board "Chess jokes" on Pinterest. Although this is not chess related it is one of my favorites. Love playing chess with people I meet in the park. Really hard to find thirty two of them willing to take part, though. Chess Jokes : Puns And One Liners. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on.